Racing Hearts
by myrtillez
Summary: Beckett goes undercover... without Castle by her side. And the latter is none too pleased.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Okay so it's been a while since I wrote a Castle fic. Actually, not true I've been writing a (looong) one with a co-author over the past few months but in French ^^Anyhow, this particular story came to me kind of out of the blue, and as usual with fics, I just had to write it down. It's going to be a short fic (two or three chapters maybe). **  
**A biiiiiig thank you to my reviewer/coach/(tyran) for asking every. single. day how my writing is going ^^**

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

"But I wanna come with you!"  
"Castle, we are not having this conversation again! You are not coming with us."

Beckett grabbed her coat and put it on, watching as the writer, sitting in his usual spot, crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. She almost smiled at the sight. There was always something about the way he could be so childish sometimes that charmed her.

"I don't see why not" he tried once more "I can be just as convincing as Esposito."

Beckett looked at the Manhattan born, wealthy writer living in Soho and then at her latino, ex-commando partner from Queens and she barely suppressed a laugh at Castle's comparison of the two radically different men.

"No Castle. No" she replied with a hidden laugh "You really can't."

As he gave her another exaggerated pout, she grabbed her purse, ready to head out.

Esposito and Ryan approached them, coats on their arms.

"You can do surveillance with me if you'd like" offered the Irish cop.

Castle's pout only slightly faded. He tried the puppy-eye approach with Beckett one more time to no avail and surrendered.

"Fiiiiine" he conceded with a heavy sigh.  
"Pick you up at ten!" Ryan informed him with a grin.

Beckett shook her head, smiling and turned to Esposito.

"I've got a quick errand to run before we go." She looked at her watch before adding "I'll meet you there in about two hours."

Esposito nodded and started walking off, his partner in tail. Ryan spun back as they reached the elevator.

"Oh, and Castle?" the latter turned to face him as he was putting his coat on "Bring the coffee, will you?"

* * *

At five to ten sharp a black van parked in front of Castle's apartment building and the writer came out through the front door holding two thermos flasks containing freshly brewed, high quality coffee.  
He was dressed casually, wearing a pair of worn jeans, a black polo shirt and the only leather jacket he owned.  
He reached the van and got on the passenger seat.

"Ready to roll, partner?" he greeted joyfully.

Ryan just gave him a look and he quietly settled in his seat, muttering something about the whole situation being no fun at all with another disappointed pout.  
Today was a succession of disappointments. And yet the day had started out so promisingly...

They had been working on the death of a twenty-seven year old man who had washed on the banks of the Hudson River a week before. Forensics and detective work combined had determined that the boy had been tossed in the river from the waterfront in Jersey. The autopsy had revealed he had most likely sustained major injuries when he was thrown off a moving vehicle – possibly a bike – without wearing the appropriate protective gear.  
Their investigation, conducted hand in hand with the Jersey police, had revealed that very morning that the young man was involved in some kind of illegal races down in Jersey. The arrest of one of the participants in such races in the early afternoon had given them confirmation of that fact and they had learnt that another race was scheduled for that night on the Jersey turnpike.  
Because the illegal racing world was a very tight-lip environment, the detectives had decided that they needed to go undercover and infiltrate that world.

That's when Castle had literally jumped out of his seat in excitement. An undercover mission involving illegal races was just too good to be true.  
There had been discussions with the Jersey police officers and with the captain, discussions he hadn't been invited to take part in and then it had been decided: Beckett would join the race that night.  
At that thought, Castle's excitement had grown all the stronger.

Then they had decided she'd need back-up on the ground, so she would be accompanied by a man posing as her boyfriend/agent/mechanic/bodyguard/anything and everything really.  
And Castle had raised his hand. And they'd all looked at him and the disappointments began.  
They had told him he wasn't fit for the job. He had pleaded. They had turned him down over and over again.

"We need someone with police training Castle..."  
"I've proven I can handle my own more than once!"  
"Who knows a thing or two about mechanics..."  
"I can be pretty handy."  
"Someone who doesn't wear thousand dollar suits..."  
"I have plain clothes!"  
"Someone who can look fierce..."  
"I can look fierce."  
"Someone who looks like they belong there..."  
"I..."

In the end, he'd run out of arguments and Esposito had been assigned to the task of posing as Beckett's 'mack'.

So there he was, a few hours after his first wave of excitement, sitting, utterly disappointed, in the passenger seat of a black surveillance van heading for the Jersey turnpike.  
Well, at least he'd get to see Beckett on a bike... from afar, in the dark.  
He frowned and slid further down into his seat.  
This was no fun at all.

* * *

In the meantime, in a deserted parking lot, cars started driving in and parking; each with more horsepower than the previous one. A few bikes joined as well; shiny, loud, powerful bikes. People gathered around; they drank, they smoked, they flirted but more importantly, they raced.  
Two by two, cars and bikes faced off on the quasi empty road, leaving clouds of dirt behind them and tyre marks on the asphalt.

When Ryan and Castle parked in the shadows of a nearby forest, the party was already in full swing.  
They both moved to the rear of the van and Ryan turned on the cameras as Castle got the night-vision goggles out.  
He sat on a chair next to Ryan, looking intently at the screen.

"Alright! What do we do now?" he asked cheerily looking around for something fun to do.  
"Now? We wait" replied Ryan while grabbing a thermos and pouring himself a cup of coffee.  
"'Wait'? But that's... boring."  
"Yup. It is" agreed the detective while taking a sip "But it's also part of the job. You should know, you've done surveillance before."  
"Yeah I have..."

"... _But with Beckett_" he thought to himself.

Not that he had anything against the young detective sitting by his side but he wasn't Beckett. Doing surveillance was indeed one of the most boring aspects of the job, after paperwork, but doing surveillance with Beckett had somehow always seemed fun or at least bearable.  
And tonight he felt like he was being punished for something. Not only he wasn't allowed to go undercover with Beckett but as a result he ended up doing surveillance _without_ her.  
He wondered if this punishment had anything to do with Beckett's distant attitude towards him these last few weeks and if any of that was related to the awkward moment they'd shared a month before during another undercover mission that required kissing and sharing a room.

Thoughtful, he looked at the moving images on the screens in front of him and his mood worsened.

"Is this all we get to see?" he asked, pointing to the distant, kind of blurry and very greenish video feed.  
"Yeah. What did you expect? This isn't a spy movie Castle, this is reality. And the reality is, the NYPD doesn't have the means nor the will to provide its fine detectives with state of the art technology to run surveillance on suspects."  
"How do you even get evidence on _anyone_ with that kind of footage?"  
"Well the good thing is, tonight, all the evidence we need is gonna be collected by Beckett and Esposito. We're just here to monitor the evening and act as back-up if necessary."  
"Yeah but... We can't see... _anything_."  
"We see enough" shrugged Ryan "Why? What did you want to see?"

As Ryan finished his sentence, a new car drove into the parking lot-turned-dance floor. It was a low rider and it was closely followed by a bike that, despite the bad colouring of the screen looked somewhat red.

From the corner of his eye Castle noticed the man coming out of the car and his attention immediately shifted to the bike that was coming to a halt next to it.

"Nothing" he replied absently, squinting his eyes in order to get a better view of the person who was coming off the bike.  
"What are you...?"

Ryan, noticing the writer's strange behaviour, turned his head to the screens as well.

"Oh..." He looked one more time at Castle who was mesmerized by the image on screen "Nothing huh?" he repeated with a knowing smile.

The pair watched as Beckett took off her helmet and placed it on the bike. She was wearing a pair of tight jeans, boots and a leather jacket. Castle's heart beat a little faster.  
A man and two of his goons approached her and Esposito immediately stepped to her side, wrapping an arm around her waist.  
Castle frowned.

"You think they'll be able to get accepted?"  
"You're kidding right?" Ryan gave Castle a look and continued "This is Beckett we're talking about. If she wants something, she gets it." The writer smiled at that comment "She'll gain their trust."

They observed their two respective partners chatting with the three men who had approached them.  
Although, their back was to them, they could clearly see that Beckett was doing a number on the boys, unzipping her jacket and flipping her hair from time to time.  
Castle's imagination started running wild as he imagined what Beckett must look like from the front, knowing very well how seductive she could get when needed. He almost felt sorry for the guys surrounding her.  
A few minutes later, Esposito shook the leading man's hand and the group stepped away leaving the two detectives to mingle with the other racers and their posses.

As the minutes passed and turned into an hour of watching Beckett flirt her way through the crowd Castle started feeling a knot in his stomach. For a while he tried to convince himself it was the funny-looking lasagne he had eaten earlier that was playing tricks on his stomach. But when Beckett wrapped her arms around Esposito's waist and kissed his neck in front of a group of racers he felt his heart sink low into his chest and he couldn't blame the lasagne anymore.

"You ok there Castle? You look a little pale..."  
"I'm fine. How much longer do we have to watch this?" he asked flatly while pouring himself a cup of coffee.  
"No idea. For as long as it takes Esposito and Beckett to get the information we need."

With a resigned sigh Castle took a sip of his drink, closing his eyes. And for a brief moment, the pain in his chest vanished. The sweet, dark aroma conjured up images of Kate, with him; smiling to _him_, flirting with _him_, wrapping her arms around _him_, _kissing him_.  
He had tasted her lips twice in the course of their partnership and each time he'd felt it. This feeling in his chest, this warmth that engulfed him, this impression of complete and utter bliss. There was no faking that feeling. Just like there was no faking the jealousy that was eating him at the moment.

"Huh-oh"

Ryan's voice tore him out of his thoughts.

"What?"

He reluctantly turned his attention back to the screens, hoping he'd be spared another image of Kate macking on Javier.

"Looks like these guys wanna see Beckett on the racetrack" explained Ryan pointing at the men who had greeted the duo earlier.  
"What? Wait! I thought all they had to do was mingle with the crowd. Nobody said anything about racing..." shouted Castle, suddenly panicked.

He'd seen the heavy drinking, the cars spinning out of control, the bikes skidding... and more importantly he'd seen the dead body that had brought them there in the first place!

"They'll be ok. I know Beckett can talk her way out of this."

Just then, Beckett got on her bike, helmet in hand.

"Or not."  
"What the..." Ryan, sat up in his chair, zooming in on their partners, as if it would make a difference in the world. He saw Esposito looking in their general direction.  
"What is she doing?"

Beckett was putting her helmet on. Esposito stopped her and whispered something in her ear. She whispered back and he stepped away as she put the helmet on.  
Ryan and Castle watched, powerless as she positioned herself on the starting line. Seconds later her opponent – the greeting man – parked his white-looking bike next to hers.

"We've got to stop them! Do we have surveillance on the road?" Castle got up from his chair, heading for the back of the van "Can't you call the state police to arrest them for illegal racing?"

Ryan slid his chair in front of Castle's path, blocking him from the back door.

"Calm down Castle. She's gonna be fine."  
"Fine? Have you seen the way those guys race?"  
"Beckett's a big girl! She can handle herself. If she agreed to race, it means she knows she can handle it. You've gotta trust that she can."

Ryan held Castle's panicked look for a while until he saw him settle down a little.

"She'll be fine" he repeated softly.

Castle eyed the screens and saw one of the ladies stepping between the two bikes, flag in hand. He gave another look to Ryan, who was still looking at him reassuringly and dropped his shoulders in defeat before going back to his seat.

Beckett on a bike could have been all sorts of sexy, but right now all he could feel was worry, if not outright fear.  
Of course he trusted the detective's judgment and her skills on a bike, but he also cared for her too much to not be concerned.

A few seconds later, the scantily clad woman waved her flag and both bikes disappeared onto the dark road, leaving a cloud of dust in their place.

And they waited.  
The other races had lasted around two minutes.  
The longest two minutes of the writer's life.

Despite their serene appearance, Castle knew Ryan and Esposito cared enough for their boss to be equally worried.  
The three men stared at the dark open road with attention. Waiting for the headlights of the bikes to appear around the last curve of the race.  
Castle looked at the timer on the video feed. Only one minute had gone by.

He tried to reassure himself. He knew Beckett had owned a bike. He knew she'd had wild days, probably riding said bike. He knew her ex-boyfriend of a doctor was a biker so she'd probably had some practice with him around. She was a good driver. She was fierce. She was smart... and beautiful and caring... That was irrelevant. But it warmed his worried heart a bit.

He looked at the timer again. Two minutes.  
He glued his eyes to the screen, scrutinizing the blurry image for the slightest hint of a headlight.

"What if..."  
"Don't."

Then the light appeared. One single light. Too far to determine which bike was approaching. But the fact that there was only one light was enough to give Castle – and most likely the two detectives with him - an ulcer.

"_Please be red_" he mentally chanted "_please be red_"

The bike raced past the parking lot to the finish line and came to a stop a few meters later.

"That is definitely _not_ red" commented Castle with a dry voice.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: A big, huge, enormous, THANK YOU to the 'bike expert' who helped me with the technical details on this chapter. I hope it's alright.**  
**On an other note, I'm not an expert on the NY geography so although I'm using a "real" place, I'm totally making up the road and the way it looks ^^**

* * *

**CHAPTER 2**

"_Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all_" she thought as the engine of her bike roared under her, her back wheel spinning in the air generating as much smoke as her neighbours'.

She could probably have talked her way out of the dare, but they would most likely have lost the little trust they'd managed to earn over the past hour if she had. But she _could_ have. And maybe she should have.

She had been on a bike recently, Josh's bike but they were only cruising, enjoying the scenery or going from one place to the next. She hadn't raced on a bike since... forever. She hoped she'd remember the tricks that make the difference between cruising and racing, between winning the race and seriously injuring herself... or worse.

She gave a quick glance over to Esposito who was smiling reassuringly and she let her gaze go further, behind him, over the road and into the forest. She knew that somewhere between the trees, _he_ was watching. She smiled, although through her helmet, the distance and the dark night there was no chance in hell he'd see it.

The woman standing between them, who looked barely old enough to drink, waved her flag and before she knew it, her opponent was gone. Getting her head back into the race she released the clutch and off she went in pursuit of the man who had introduced himself as Terry.

This was a stupid idea. She hadn't had many of those in her life but she was smart enough to recognize one when it happened. And this was one of them.  
Too bad it was actually too late to back down now.

She had absolutely no idea what the road ahead looked like. She knew the finish line was the parking lot so she expected there would be a U-turn to make at some point. She also knew enough of the turnpike to know it was mostly a straight path... At least she hoped it would be.

The road was dark, barely lit and she wondered for a second why the lights were off before deciding it wasn't the most pressing matter at the moment.

She squinted her eyes, focusing her attention on the white bike in front of her. The good thing about being second place is that she would be able to anticipate the turns by watching her opponent manoeuvre them before her.

She did just that during the first leg of the race and for a moment she relaxed. She forgot about the race, the undercover mission, the potential danger and simply enjoyed the sensations of a speeding bike engulf her.  
She needed that. She needed that feeling of carelessness, of freedom. She'd been so wound up over the past few weeks, highly strung. She felt she needed a break from... everything and... everyone. In fact she'd considered asking the captain for a week off. Maybe she would. When all of this would be over.  
Right now, being on the bike, she felt more alive than ever and it made her forget about all the frustrations she'd been cumulating; she was frustrated by her job, her life, her relationships, frustrated by... _him_.

But she didn't have time to think about that at the moment.

After a sharp turn to the right she saw the red brake lights on Terry's bike and quickly looked ahead for the reason of his slowing down. She saw nothing but decided it was best to imitate him. And rightly so. A few feet later she started to make out the shape of a car parked in the middle of the road just before the Newark bridge. She realized they had reached the U-turn point and also realized she hadn't slowed down enough for that kind of manoeuvre.

Her heart rate picked up in her chest as she clutched harder on the brake.

She saw Terry tilt his bike to the point where his knee nearly scratched the road and make his U-turn before he hit the gas, and wheelied past her.  
Getting her focus back to her own bike, she frantically pressed her foot onto the lever to gear down and steered to the left, sliding on the side and stopping just short of the parked car.

She let out a relieved sigh before hitting the gas and driving back up the road to catch up with Terry.

The second leg of the race should be easier, she now knew the road and she could handle the various curves with more speed.

In fact, soon enough, the other bike was back in her sight and knowing that her Ducati had more horsepower than Terry's, she felt certain that if she kept her course and speed she could overtake the white bike before the finish line.

The point of the race was to participate, to show that she and Esposito were players and potential additions to their group, she didn't _need_ to win. But if she had the opportunity to make it first to the finish line, why not take it...

She carefully sped closer to Terry knowing that a few feet away there would be a final bend to the right before the last home stretch.

As the curve appeared before them, she started gearing down and prepared to steer to the right. But, just as she did, the white bike unexpectedly gained speed and cut her path to the left. Beckett clutched the front brake and steered violently to the left as well.

Her bike careened dangerously and despite her best attempts, she was unable to correct.

Bracing herself, she felt the bike tilt to the side and her shoulder hit the pavement hard, followed by the rest of her body, her left leg squashed under the weight of the bike.

The last thing she felt was the loud bang of her helmet on the concrete before she blacked out.

* * *

"_This was definitely not a good idea_" she thought as she started to come to.

How long had she been out? When she saw her front wheel still spinning in the air she inferred it hadn't been that long.

Letting out a bunch of heartfelt swearwords, she extracted her leg from under the body of the vehicle. The movement forced her to put more weight on her injured shoulder and she let out another string of colourful insults.

Before getting on her feet she took a moment to mentally check that all her body parts were there and responding. She had been lucky.

As she took her helmet off with a wince, she saw a shadow appear around the bend and run toward her.

The figure quickly found himself in the beam of her headlight and she recognized him immediately. She smiled despite herself.

"Kate!" shouted the approaching man with a desperation in his voice she had only heard a couple of times before and that broke her heart every time "Kate! Are you alright?"

She put her hand on her temple checking that there was no blood where her head ached like hell. Castle threw himself on his knees and promptly put his own hand on top of hers. At the same time, another man appeared around the bend. She recognized him as well.

"Castle!" shouted Esposito as he saw the man kneeling by the detective's side "Get out of here!"

She knew Castle had no business being there and that if the other participants saw him, their cover was blown but after the scare she'd had she felt comfort in his presence. She let her fingers intertwine briefly with his before Esposito reached them and pulled Castle away.

"Dude, seriously, you've gotta go."

Castle didn't even acknowledge the latino detective as he was hoisted up. He kept staring right into her eyes and she silently held his look.

She told him she was ok, she told him she appreciated his concern and was glad he was here, she told him she was happy to be alive to see him again, she thanked him for being there for her, once again, she promised him things would change from now on... She just hoped he read all that in her eyes.

And then he disappeared back into the shadow of the forest and Esposito was kneeling by her side.

"Are you ok? Anything broken?"

"No. I don't think so. I'm ok."

Esposito put his hand on her temple.

"How does it look?"

"Like a big bump that's gonna leave you a nasty bruise. You sure you're ok?"

She moved her head up and down and on the sides.

"Yeah don't worry" she then checked her shoulder and noticed the torn fabric of her leather jacket "Damnit!"

Esposito checked her shoulder as well and saw the bloody scratches that marked her skin.

"You were lucky" he commented, noticing it looked like the only apparent injury she had sustained.

"Yeah. Help me up will you?"

She groaned when she put her weight on her left leg.

"Is your leg ok?"

"Just a little soar."

She limped to her bike and picked it up. Esposito stepped to her side, and placed a hand on her arm.

"Beckett?" she turned to face him and meet his worried eyes "That was stupid."

Honesty and trust were a big part of what made her work with Ryan and Esposito so damn efficient. They had each other's back, they supported each other through the worst of situations and they accepted the mistakes that the human beings that they were could make at times. Seldom did they actually criticize each other's work or decisions. When they did, it meant something; something serious.

"I know" she admitted.

He raised an inquisitive eyebrow and she nodded. That was all the conversation they needed to have on this.

"I know" she repeated.

She grabbed her helmet from his hands.

"But I've got to finish this race" she mounted the bike, ignoring the various pains that shot through her body "Hop on" she told him with a nudge of the head.

Esposito sat behind her and held on to her hips as she started the bike and drove it at reasonable speed to the finish line.

As soon as they dismounted, Beckett took her helmet off and, when she saw Terry and his men approaching, the fear from her fall she'd tried to hide and ignore morphed into uncontrollable rage. She saw red and pounced on Terry, grabbing him by the collar and throwing him against a nearby car. Her shoulder sent a painful signal to her brain in protest.

When the two 'bodyguards' tried to come to their boss's rescue, Esposito moved swiftly and neutralized one with a jab to the throat, making the other think twice about interfering.

"You son of a bitch!"

He tried to grab her arm and push her away but instead he received her elbow in his jaw and she got a better grip on his shirt. He spit some blood out and laughed bitterly.

"You think this is funny? You almost got me killed out there!"

"So?"

Esposito gave a quick glance over his shoulder at his partner when he heard Terry's body being slammed again against the metal of the car.

"Kate..." he warned, trying to bring her back to reason without compromising their cover.

She heard him.

And continued.

"You do that often? Drive people off the road?"

The more she raised her voice the more she felt like her head was going to explode and she winced, fighting against the pain.

"If you can't handle a little challenge, stay off the road sweetheart"

That nickname earned him another meet with her elbow.

"Kate!" interjected Esposito while stepping to her side, an eye still on the other bodyguard.

"Is that what you told yourself when Jeremy was thrown off his bike because of one of your stunts?"

At the mention of that name Terry's eyes grew wider.

"How d'you know that name?"

"He was a friend of mine. A _good_ friend."

"The two of you must've gone to the same driving school for losers then" he spat back "the idiot got in over his head. You... You got lucky."

Terry looked somewhat surprised when Beckett released her grip on him and a faint smile appeared on her face.

"So... you killed him then?"

"Didn't kill nobody hun'..." he replied while smoothing his shirt "He just wasn't good enough."

Beckett gave her partner a look and he shrugged with a smile, reaching into his pocket for his handcuffs.

* * *

When the black van reached the 12th precinct, Castle jumped out and, not bothering to wait for the elevator, he climbed the stairs two-by-two. As he reached the homicide floor he bent over on his knees, catching his breath and thinking that he ought to hit the gym more often. When he had taken a few, much needed breaths, he lifted his head and scanned the precinct. It was mostly empty at this hour. Too empty in fact.  
He stepped into the bullpen and lifted an eyebrow when he didn't see neither Beckett nor Esposito. They had left the turnpike parking lot before them though...

The 'ding' of the elevator made him turn his head only to see Ryan come out of it.

"Where are Beckett and Esposito?" he asked the younger detective.

Ryan dropped his coat on his chair and the recording tapes on his desk.

"Esposito is probably still down at processing with our suspect and Beckett..." he looked up at Castle "I'm guessing she went home."

"Home?" he repeated, walking over to Ryan's desk and sitting on the nearby chair "Why would she go home?"

"Why wouldn't she?"

Ryan picked up a folder and started filling out a form.

"We've got the guy and they won't interrogate him 'til morning. Esposito took him into holding. She got injured. Of course she'd go home."

"I just thought..." Castle sighed and looked over to her desk sadly "I don't know."

With a sorry expression on his face Ryan signed the form on his desk and got up.

"Come on, accompany me to 'evidence' will ya?" he asked the writer cheerily as he stuffed the tapes in an envelope and stuck the form on top of it "I could use the company" he added sincerely.

Castle gave him a sad, albeit thankful smile. He knew very well what the detective was trying to do and although he was tired and just wanted to crawl under his covers and sleep the disappointments of the day off, he couldn't very well refuse the offer.

"Let's go."

Both men headed down to the basement - the evidence storage floor - to drop off the envelope containing the tapes and took the stairs back up to the entrance of the precinct.

"Yo" greeted Esposito as he came back from processing "you two heading out?"

"Yeah, dropped off the tape in evidence. How's our man?"

"Comfortable in his new digs I'm sure."

Esposito turned to Castle who was unusually quiet, he noticed the thoughtful expression on his friend's face.

"You ok Castle?" the latter turned his attention to Esposito who carried on "Listen man, I'm sorry about earlier, for telling you off, but I couldn't risk them seeing you, you know?"

"I understand"

The two detectives exchanged a knowing look.

"So, can I offer you boys a ride back home?"

"In that low-rider of yours?" asked Ryan with an excitement that made Esposito chuckle.

"Castle, you coming?"

As the three men headed out the door, Castle looked at his watch and realized he'd forgotten his coat in the bullpen.

After telling Ryan and Esposito that he'd take a cab back home and watching them disappear behind the door, he went up to homicide again and grabbed his coat. He gave a quick glance over to Beckett's desk on his way back to the elevator and sighed.

He had been telling himself he should move on for a few months now...  
Maybe it was time he actually did.

"Good night Tommy" he told the officer on duty as he pushed the precinct's door.

With a heavy but resolute heart he stepped onto the Manhattan sidewalk and walked a few paces to reach the intersection.

When a yellow cab approached, he shot his hand up in the air.


	3. Chapter 3

**A:N: The rating changed a bit ^^ This story was supposed to have only three chapters, but instead I decided to cut the last one in two so I could update soon enough. There will therefore be four chapters (not sure how much higher the rating will go...)**

* * *

**CHAPTER 3**

The yellow cab stopped in front of his apartment building a good half hour later.

As Castle shot the back door closed, he noticed a silhouette on the pavement observing him and he uncomfortably turned his head to check who was watching him.

His heart-rate had picked up slightly from the anxiety, but when he recognized the figure waiting for him on his front steps it actually skipped a few beats.

Kate was standing there, leaning against her flaming red Ducati, arms crossed. She was still wearing a pair of black boots but over a new pair of navy blue jeans. Her hair was lose and fell graciously around her face to rest on the shoulders of her aviator leather jacket. As his eyes finished roaming over her body in undisguised appreciation they landed on her lips which where crooked into what looked like an amused smile and when he met his eyes, he saw one of her eyebrows raised in question and realized she was indeed smiling at his shameless staring.

"Beckett" he managed to get out despite the surprise of seeing her there and the sudden dryness in his mouth.

"Hey Castle" she replied while standing up.

"How err-" he cleared his throat and tried it once more "How are you?"

"I'm okay" came her reply as she replaced some of her hair behind her ear.

At that moment, he would have liked nothing more than to reach out and do that for her. He refrained of course and took a couple more steps toward her, closing the distance between them.

"You sure? You seemed to have taken a big hit" he insisted, pointing to the bruise that she'd just revealed on her forehead.

"I'm alright Castle" she snapped. Her injuries, failures and mistakes were always a touchy subject. "But thank you for your concern." She added upon seeing his rejected face "It's... sweet."

He waited in silence a moment, unsure of what to say or what to do. He hadn't expected a visit from her at all. He offered a smile, pretty much the only 'safe' thing he could think of and was reassured when she returned it, double fold.

"Come on Castle"

She grabbed a helmet on her bike and that's when he noticed there were two of them. She tossed it to him before grabbing the other one.

"I want to take you somewhere."

His eyes grew wide open, along with his mouth in both surprise and apprehension.

"On... _that_?"

Beckett straddled her bike and turned her head toward Castle, a wicked smile on her face.

"What's the matter Ricky, you scared?"

At that exact moment, seeing Kate in that position, he wasn't so much scared as mesmerized. There was something extremely sensual about the way she sat on her bike, leaning forward, her hair falling on one side, her eyes twinkling in mischief. There was something about the Kate Beckett he was seeing that fascinated him.

"Well, are you?" she taunted.

"Me? Scared?"

He took one more second to mentally snap a picture of this image before walking to the bike.

"Bring it" he dared bravely.

With unsure movements he positioned himself behind her, settling his feet on the footrests on each side of the bike and his hands behind him.

Beckett smiled and turned her head to him.

"If you don't want to fly off the bike in a heartbeat I'd suggest holding on tighter than that."

She grabbed one of his arms and put it around her body.

"I won't bite."

With an amused smile she put her helmet on as Castle did the same and placed both his hands on her hips.

When the bike lurched forward, his shyness was overcome but his fear and he held on tighter to her waist, gripping the sides of her jacket. He leaned forward, following her movement, almost - but not quite daring - pressing his chest against her back.

He let his body relax as they drove through the city, enjoying the new sensations – not necessarily all bike-induced...

* * *

As they left New-York city and he started to relax, she felt his chest press against her back and she smiled. This was right, she decided. Having his body against hers, his arms around her it was definitely right. It had to be. Something couldn't feel so good and be wrong.  
They reached the open road and she switched to a higher gear. There was that feeling again of utter freedom and... something else. On _her_ bike, in _his_ arms she felt serene, safe and happy.

* * *

His heart-rate – for the nth time that evening – peaked as the bike gained speed on the deserted roads of the New-York area at two in the morning. He'd let his body relax onto hers during the ride and, using the newly gained speed as his mental excuse, he hugged her waist completely with his arms, pulling himself ever closer to her body. He felt her stomach contract as she surely held her breath for a few moments. He considered pulling back but he felt her body relax once more and maybe even get closer to his. He smiled.

* * *

She hadn't realized just how much she craved his touch until his arms completely circled her waist and she found herself wishing she wasn't wearing such a thick jacket.  
She wasn't sure but she felt as though her partner's body had tensed a bit since he'd gotten closer. Was he afraid of her? Of what she'd do to him? Was she really that scary? Letting go of one of the handles she pressed her hand on one of his, giving it a reassuring squeeze, before grabbing the handle again.

* * *

It was okay. He was allowed to hold her like this. She liked it.  
That's the message he got.  
He wasn't sure why but tonight Kate seemed willing to close the distance that had been slowly driving them apart over the past month. Less than an hour ago, he was about to give up on the most precious thing life had brought his way. This time, he wouldn't let go, he wouldn't back down. Feeling embolden with his new resolution he let his right hand creep its way under the leather jacket and the top she was wearing, finding warmth under the fabric and over her skin.

* * *

The second his fingertips touched her skin she knew they needed to get off the bike before they had an accident.  
His cold hand came to rest on her side and she took a sharp breath, contracting her abdomen. The goose bumps that ran through her body were either from the cold or from his touch. She wasn't sure. She didn't care.  
She did care however that somehow he had gotten her message. That she had started something she couldn't stop anymore; there was no going back this time. Not that she wanted to. She was scared as hell, most definitely, but this time, she wouldn't let go, she wouldn't back down.

A few minutes later she took the bike off the parkway and into Pelham Bay.

She wasn't sure what had gotten into him or in fact what had gotten into _her_ for letting him, but she was glad to be on a smaller road, going a lot slower when Castle's left hand slid down over the fabric of her jeans and up her thigh again.  
Using her many years of police training she tried very hard to stay focused on the road, ignoring this foreign and yet familiar hand on her body.

* * *

Maybe he had a death wish. After all, he knew very well that if at any moment he crossed a line for her she'd be more than able to kill him and get rid of his body without leaving any evidence behind.  
But if he were to die, he'd die knowing that he hadn't wasted his chance for the nth time. And so long as she didn't break his fingers, he sure as hell wasn't going to stop.

His left hand trailed along her thigh, caressing it up and down over her jeans while his right hand moved, ever so slowly further up onto her abdomen. He liked the warmth he found there, he liked the way her abdomen contracted every time he moved a finger, the way her stomach moved to the rhythm of her breath.

She drove them all the way to Pelham beach and stopped the bike on the curb. The place was completely deserted – as one would expect on a Wednesday night at three in the morning. She turned the ignition off but neither one of them moved. The sound of the roaring bike quickly disappeared and left only that of the waves gently washing on the nearby beach.

Suddenly the reality of their situation hit him and his hands froze on their spot. Her lack of movement, the silence surrounding them was all too worrying and he considered his options for a moment.

But before he could decide between staying frozen to the spot or running for his life, she moved and took her helmet off, releasing her long wavy hair in front of him. She placed the helmet on the handles and left her hands there. Castle decided to do the same, although it meant releasing the hold he had on her waist and relinquishing the warm spot on her abdomen. He took his helmet off and, for lack of a better place, bent on the side to drop it, as gently as possible, on the ground. When he sat back up, she still hadn't moved and he decided best to keep his hands for himself this time.

And he waited. For a sign. For his death sentence. Anything.

* * *

No sooner had his hands left her body that she missed them.  
That contact, she realized, that connection, she needed it. She needed him. And the realization of this longing, this _yearning_ was enough to make her overcome the fear that had washed over her the second she'd stopped the engine.

So when he sat back up and didn't put his arms around her again, she let her body take control over her mind and reached behind for his hands. Grabbing them firmly, she wrapped them around her waist and kept him there, her own hands atop his.  
She felt him tighten his hold and pressed her back into his body, desperately trying to _feel_ him through the layers of clothes separating them.

Their fingers intertwined as they had a few hours before ever so briefly.

* * *

He tried to think of something to say but words escaped him.

She let her head slightly fall back to rest on his shoulder and he inhaled the sweet scent of her, closing his eyes and losing himself in the moment.

How many times had he closed his eyes, his fingers on the keyboard, ready to type, trying to imagine what Kate Beckett felt like, smelt like; trying to imagine what it would be like to hold her in his arms, to touch her, to kiss her and taste her skin? How many times?

And yet, as their hands played together, her hair tickled his face, her perfume engulfed him and her body sunk into his, it was clear that his imagination had done no justice to what it really felt like to be _with_ her.

"Kate?" he heard his voice whisper.

She tilted her head to him with a "hmm" as though he had woken her from her reverie.

Their faces were inches apart, her green eyes looking up into his deep blue, her breath blending with his in rapid successions.  
He felt her grip on his hands tighten.  
They were so close, so close he could almost taste her. So close he wasn't sure if the frenzied heart beat was his or hers. He tried to think of the words to say after "Kate" and wondered why he'd even called her name in the first place.

But before he could think of anything, he felt her warm lips onto his.

* * *

He was like a magnet. An undeniable attraction that couldn't be denied anymore.  
His face was so close to hers, his blue eyes looking right back at her, piercing through her soul, his lips tempting her, enticing her, calling her name.

She hadn't meant to kiss him. But the attraction, the memory of the kisses they'd shared in the past had brought her lips onto his against her will.  
But once she felt his warmth, once their lips parted and tasted the sweetness of the other, there was no going back. She slid her hand in his hair, bringing his face ever closer to hers. The kiss quickly deepened, their lips moving to a rhythm they had quickly learnt. And then something new happened.

* * *

Her kisses were intoxicating, they were addictive, they were... life. And he needed more of it.

His tongue reached out and teased her lips. The hand on the back of his head clutched his hair and he took that as his welcome sign.

Their tongues, met, tasted and battled for the first time.

In the midst of all the sensations assailing his body, he was most aware of her two hands, one on his neck, keeping him in place, the other on his hand guiding him under her jacket and her top, pressing him onto her stomach, as if she wanted him closer and closer still until there was no space between them anymore.

* * *

They broke away together, in need for air.  
They stayed inches away from each other, mouths agape, with bated breaths, and dilated pupils betraying both their wants.  
They held each other's gazes, finding reassurance in the other's loving look.

Their chests moved heavily up and down to the rhythm of their calming breaths.  
Their hands stayed still on the other's body.

A few waves crashed on the beach in front of them.

He licked his lips.  
She moved her fingers in his hair.  
Their mouths crashed onto one another.

Years of frustration, of yearning, of wanting, of needing poured into their kiss.

Their joined hands danced on her abdomen.

They let passion take over; their bodies blending together and moving together. The night was warm enough, but the heat radiating from their bodies and surrounding them had nothing to do with the number on the thermometer.

When the need for air became too strong again, they broke apart unwillingly.

"Oh geez... Castle..."

"I..."

"We can't..."

"We shouldn't..."

They stayed still in their embrace, only their chests moving up and down. They let their cardiac and breathing rhythms go back to normal and they exchanged heartfelt smiles.

"We should probably..."

"... Get off the bike."

Neither moved and both smiled.

"Now would be a good time."

"Right."

And yet neither moved.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Fourth and final chapter. Thanks for your reviews which are always amazing!**

**Credit for one of the dialogues goes to someone who may or may not recognize herself. But either way, thank you.**

**(Personal PS: Requiem, attention, une scène risquerait de te choquer...ou pas. lol)**

* * *

**CHAPTER 4**

Kate stepped on the wooden planks of the beach walk and took her boots off, leaving them on the steps leading to the sand. She figured at this time, there wouldn't be anyone to steal them. She walked off the last step and let her feet sink into the sand. Behind her, Richard Castle was taking off his own shoes, placing them neatly next to hers. He walked down the few steps and stopped by her side, following her eyesight, looking out into the ocean.

Wordlessly Kate let her fingers slide along his, and wrapped her hand around Castle's.

She looked up to him and smiled.

"Come on"

She led them by the water and they walked on the beach, silently holding hands, accompanied only by the repetitive sound of the waves breaking on their ankles.

After a moment of walking together, simply enjoying each other's company and the comfortable silence between them, Castle spoke.

"So... The bike, is it yours?"

Beckett looked up at Castle in response to his question and then cast her eyes back on the sand.

"No."

He waited for a longer answer but when none came he prodded.

"A loan from... the NYPD?"

"The NYPD doesn't have that kind of bike in storage Castle"

A few more silent steps went by before he continued.

"So, where did you get it?"

"I borrowed it" she shrugged looking at him and when she saw his eyes asking for more details she added: "from a friend."

"Oh really? Who?" asked Castle casually.

Kate's hold on Castle's hand loosened a little and the features on her face grew more serious.

"Just... a friend. It doesn't matter Castle."

"No, I know it doesn't matter I'm just... making conversation" he answered with a shrug of his own.

"Yeah well, change the conversation will you?" she replied bitterly

"And now I'm clearly curious as to why this topic is so off limits..."

"Castle, I'm serious, drop it. It doesn't matter where the bike came from" she warned with a tense voice.

"I just..."

"It was Josh! Okay? Or more precisely a friend of his" she snapped releasing his hand completely "Happy?"

"Oh" he just said, stopping.

At some point, he would really need to learn to listen to Beckett when she warned him about something.

He immediately regretted pushing her and broke into a small jog to catch up with her increased pace.

"Kate, wait!"

But she didn't.

"Kate, hold on" he repeated reaching her and grabbing her arm.

He turned her around and she looked down at his hand on her arm then up at him, an eyebrow raised in disapproval. But he didn't let go of her arm and instead put his second hand on her other shoulder.

"I'm sorry"

He caressed his way up her neck and onto her cheek that he stroke gently before repeating how sorry he was.

"And for what it's worth... I don't care where that bike came from because you look sexy as hell on it" he added with a devilish grin.

He felt her chuckle under his touch and she took a step forward, pressing herself against his chest and putting her arms around his waist. He did the same around her back, holding her close, one hand smoothing her hair with soothing caresses.

"You're an idiot Castle" he heard her mumble against his chest "and stubborn. And suuuuper annoying... Kinda hot-headed" she continued untangling herself from him and looking him in the eye "completely reckless..." she took some time to think, putting a finger on her chin "and childish" she concluded without an ounce of reproach in her voice.

"But that's what makes me so charming..." countered Castle with a dazzling smile before adding, a little more concerned "Right?"

"Right." She conceded rolling her eyes "Anyway... I needed a fast bike and I knew Jeremy – that's Josh's friend – could provide me with one so..." she shrugged and let herself fall down on the sand, bringing her knees under her chin.

Castle hesitated a moment and then did the same, sitting down behind her. He put his hands on his bent knees and when she saw them there, she grabbed them both and wrapped them around her body. She extended her legs before her and pressed her back against his chest.

They sat together in comfortable silence for a moment, observing the dark ocean and the equally dark sky.

"So, why Pelham Bay?"

She smiled at his never-ending curiosity about everything and anything; his need to always know the reasons behind every decision she took, every move she made. She used to find that extremely annoying; now she accepted it as part of who he was and as his way of getting to know her.

"When I was younger... my dad and I had this ritual..."

She replaced a strand of hair behind her ear and put her hand back on top of his.

"Every year, on the first sunny weekend of the year, we'd go to the beach together, no matter how cold it was. And we would go to a different beach in the New-York area every time."

"Let me guess, this one was your favourite" he guessed, placing a delicate kiss on her exposed earlobe in the process.

She smiled at his kiss before growing serious again. She looked out at the vast ocean before them and the incessant movement of the waves.

"Actually, it's the first time I've been here."

He raised his eyebrow in question, although he knew she couldn't see it and waited to see if an explanation would come before asking for one.

"One year, we got really lucky. The first sunny weekend of the year was also the first weekend of the new year, period."

Her eyes twinkled at the memory of the moments spent with her father.

"That day we were sitting on the couch, the two of us – mom was at work – watching the weather forecast and they announced that Sunday would be extra sunny. My dad and I just looked at each other with knowing smiles..."

She cast her eyes on Castle's arms around her and started playing with one his hands, drawing small circles on its back.

"Although I wasn't a kid, nor a teenager anymore, this ritual just stuck with us and so we knew, we both knew that the next day, we'd head out to the beach. My dad took our 'beach map' out and picked Pelham as our next destination..."

She paused, taking a moment to recall the memory, before continuing

"I was so excited. I always got excited when we went to the beach, I couldn't explain why but, it was our thing, you know?... It was our thing." She repeated with a sadder tone in her voice "That weekend... It was the weekend of the 9th, 1999..."

The warm and happy feeling that had been growing inside him from hearing Kate's story turned into a ball in his stomach when he heard that date and his arms automatically tightened their hold around her, pulling her closer, wanting to shield her from the memory of that day.

She shivered at the memory and considered stopping there, but the strong arms around her reminded Kate that this wasn't 1999, she wasn't a young girl and she wasn't alone anymore.

She swallowed a few times to get rid of the knot that had formed in her throat.

"Obviously, we never made it to Pelham. After the murder, my dad started drinking and I went into the police academy. Then after the academy, it was work and spending every moment of my free time investigating her death while my dad drank himself into oblivion. Years went by like that, until I stopped searching and he stopped drinking. But it never was the same, you know? It just... It could never be the same. Not knowing what had happened, who had done it...why...? I was going through the motions, living my life one day at a time, not caring much about what it would bring my way, not caring much about anything except doing my job and doing it right."

She paused and examined the hand she was holding; she traced its contours, thoughtful.

"And then you came in Rick."

She slid her fingers between his and held tight

"You came in and you got your nose where it didn't belong and you just... you changed everything."

Another pause before she continued.

"Now I know. I know who killed her and I know why. It won't bring her back, it won't change the past but... It means I can finally move forward."

She shifted her position in his arms so she could look into his caring blue eyes, finding all the comfort she needed and the confirmation that this, what she was doing, was right.

" It's like my life stopped twelve years ago Rick, and now... now it can resume. Here. On this beach. With you."

It didn't take long for the words and their meaning to register into Castle's head.

"Thank you Kate. For taking me here. For sharing this with me. For welcoming me into your life. Thank you."

They looked into each other's eyes, with that intensity they had perfected over the years. A look that was worth a thousand conversations and a thousand kisses. A look that meant everything and anything at the same time.

When Beckett started to feel her eyes getting watery, she sniffed to push the tears down and turned her head back to the ocean, burying herself deeper into his embrace, taking his arms and wrapping them around her like a blanket.

He obliged, holding her tight and smoothing her hair with one hand, his head resting on top of hers, inhaling her sweet scent tinted with salt and sand.

"So, what did you do with your father when you went to the beach?" he asked after a moment of peaceful silence.

"It depends. It changed over the years. But mostly we built sandcastles, played catch, wrestled, raced and walked with our feet in the water, talking."

"Hmmm.. Well we've already done the last one, so that's one down... four to go!"

He felt her chuckle and she turned to face him, a smile on her face – that part of his job was complete.

"What d'you say Katherine?" he taunted, forcing her on her feet as he got up himself "You think you can outrun me?" he continued, unbuttoning his leather jacket and dropping it on the sand.

"Oh Castle..." she warned as she slowly unzipped her own jacket and let it fall off her shoulders.

Castle took a second to appreciate her body as her fallen jacket revealed a grey, long-sleeved top with a plunging neck line. He licked his lips appreciatively before getting his head back to their impending race.

"Show me what you've got!" he continued as he started running backwards, watching if she'd take the bait "First one to reach the cabins over there" he pointed behind him.

"I don't know Richard..." she said as she started a slow jog "you seem pretty out of shape, I wouldn't wanna hurt your male ego or anything..."

"Don't you worry about my ego... You gotta catch me first" he replied, turning around and starting off into a full on sprint.

Kate smiled and picked up the pace to catch up with her adversary.

They both ran as fast as they possibly could, the sand slightly slowing down both their runs. Beckett was fast, years of police training would do that, but the injury she had sustained a few hours before considerably slowed her down. Castle was fast as well, years on the treadmill down at his favourite gym helped with that. Plus, he'd actually left before her, which gave him somewhat of an advantage – not that he'd consider that cheating or anything.

Beckett managed to gain ground on Castle over the last few meters when the writer started getting tired, but no matter, the latter still reached the cabins before the detective.

"You cheated!" she stated, slightly out of breath.

"Did not!" he defended himself, bending over on his knees, panting.

"Did too! You left before me!"

"Katherine Beckett, I did _not_ cheat and you are a sore loser."

"Pardon me?"

The shock and indignation on her face would have been threatening if it weren't for the smile on her face and her sparkling eyes.

"You lost and I demand a reward."

"A reward huh?" she repeated, her voice suddenly dropping an octave as she approached him.

He nodded, although, from the sulphurous look she was giving him, he wasn't sure his heart could stand the reward she seemed to have in mind.

"And... what kind of reward..." she stepped in front of him, placing a hand on his chest "...are you expecting exactly, Mr Castle?"

Said Mr Castle gulped.

Two of her fingers 'walked' up his chest, her eyes never leaving his, before her hand slipped behind his head and into his hair, bringing his face down to hers. She brought him inches from her lips but made sure they never touched.

"Tell me Richard... What kind of reward..." she flicked her tongue over his upper lip "...do you want?"

"You" he managed to whisper, his body completely tense with anticipation.

"Me, huh?" she once again, stuck her tongue out, licking his lower lip but withdrawing it before he could try anything "Well then..."

Her other hand came on his chest and trailed down to the rim of his jeans, stopping on the first button.

Castle closed his eyes and put one hand on her back.

He felt her face shift to his right and soon her mouth was on his earlobe, dropping feather light kisses on his skin.

"Castle...?" she called in a low voice

"Hmmm" was all the answer he could muster in his daze.

But he was quickly awoken when she swept one his legs off the floor and used the hand on his abdomen to push him backwards, effectively making him lose his balance and fall on his back. When he opened his eyes, Beckett was on top of him, a triumphant grin on her face and mischief in her eyes.

"You cheated" she stated matter-of-factly before getting off of him.

But the second she lifted her body, Castle saw an opening and, grabbing the arm that supported her weight, he pulled it toward him, pushing the rest of her body back. The move was effective and she ended up laying on her back, Castle on top, straddling her.

She let out a painful "Humph" when her injured shoulder hit the sand and Castle immediately took the weight of his hands off of her upper body and placed them on both sides of her head instead.

"You ok?" he asked worried he might have hurt her.

"I'm fine, just my shoulder from before... But you..." she narrowed her eyes menacingly "you are in big trouble!"

"What kind of trouble exactly?" he inquired, wiggling his eyebrows mischievously.

She started to move her arms, no doubt to try to push him back but he anticipated her movement and grabbed both, placing them above her head and pinning them down.

"I'm sorry... what kind of trouble did you say?"

He smirked, she groaned.

"Castle get off me" she warned before moving her body under him, trying to get him off.

He switched his hold on her arms, holding them both with one hand and placed the other on her cheek, lowering himself inches from her face.

"You didn't say please" he whispered against her lips.

She closed her eyes and relaxed her body when his closeness sent a shiver down her body.

His mouth hovered over her face, kissing her jaw line once before moving over her neck. She instinctively tilted her head to allow him more access, while at the same time moving her arms, pretending to try and break free.

He lowered his lips to her neck, kissing the skin there, his tongue darting in and out to taste her fully from time to time. He saw the pulse on her neck beat faster and grinned. He brought his mouth to her ear and dropped small kisses in the back of her ear before capturing her earlobe.

"Please" she pleaded with an imperceptible moan.

He brought his mouth to hers again and locked his lips onto hers for a brief moment before pulling back.

She felt him loosen the grip on her wrists and lift his body off of her. When she opened her eyes, he was laying on his back, by her side, one arm behind his head.

"What the...?"

She turned to her side, putting her weight on one elbow and looked at him quizzically.

"You said pleased" he explained with a shrug.

"You...!"

She gently punched his side - which made him groan - before placing her head on his shoulder. He put one arm around her shoulders and she put one on his waist. They adjusted their positions until they were comfortably lying together.

Minutes passed and if this had been a comfortable bed, they would surely have both fallen asleep in their embrace.

"Do you ever miss him?"

Beckett's voice broke the silence after a while.

"Your dad I mean."

Castle, swirled a strand of her hair around his finger, taking the time to think and to wonder where that line of questioning was coming from.

"You can't miss what you never had. I never had a father, so..."

She felt his shrug when his shoulder lifted under her.

"Yeah but, do you ever wish you had?"

She slipped a hand under his t-shirt, finding the warmth of his skin.

"There were times, when I was a lot younger when... yeah, I wished I had a dad. I had men in my life, _several_ in fact" he added earning a chuckle from both of them "but none of them were my father, none of them _acted_ like fathers to me."

He let his hand slide up and down on back with feather light touches, finding the repetitive motion comforting.

"But when I look back on those days, on the way I grew up, the way mother took care of me..."

He paused and she realized, despite all the talking, the writing, Castle wasn't really the type of person who talked about themselves easily. Much like her. She found his other hand and grabbed it, holding it tight, supporting him the best way she could, encouraging him.

"I realize... mother was enough. She was my mother and my father. She wasn't around much, I spent a lot of time in boarding schools, but that didn't stop her from being a good mother who cared for me and taught me a lot about life."

His hand slipped under her shirt and found a place to rest on the small of her back.

"I wouldn't trade that experience for anything in the world. If anything, having an unorthodox, tortured childhood makes for a perfect background for a writer" he added jokingly.

She smiled and brought his hand to her mouth, kissing the back of it.

"Plus, I think I turned out alright." He continued on the same lighter tone, clearly ready to move on to happier topics.

"Yeah you did" confirmed Kate quite seriously, kissing his fingers one at a time before putting his hand to rest on his own chest.

A few moments went by in the silence, during which time Castle started drawing circles on the small of Beckett's back while she slowly caressed his hand.

"I don't know though..." started Castle "Having two parents would have been nice I guess..." he sighed before continuing "I wish I could give that to Alexis."

Beckett waited a moment but when Castle didn't continue she shifted a little, putting some weight on her elbow to lift herself up and look him in the eye.

"Rick, you and Alexis have the best relationship a parent could have with their child... Why would you ever think she'd need anything more than what she has with you right now?"

He smiled at her kind words, although he wasn't entirely convinced.

"I wish she had a choice. A choice of which parent to talk to, which parent to ask for advice..."

"A choice you never had..." inferred the detective.

She shifted some more, putting more weight on his body to ease off of her injured shoulder.

"Richard your daughter may not have a choice, but she doesn't need one either. You are _not_ your mother."

They both smiled at that obvious statement.

"You are there for her, all the time, every step of the way. You are every bit a father _and_ a mother to her. You're everything she needs..."

Castle's hand resting on her back, pressed her against him, and he wrapped his other arm around her body, hugging her tight.

As she felt he wasn't entirely convinced, she continued.

"When I see you with your daughter, the man that you become when you're with her, the look of utter love and devotion in your eyes when she enters the room, the way you stand by her no matter what... I almost envy her."

Castle raised an eyebrow at this admission.

"I mean... I love my dad... so much... but you're still the kind of father every girl would dream of having. What the two of you have, that special relationship you have with your daughter _because_ you are both parents to her, it's a gift. It's precious. And..." she lifted herself up to be closer to his face " Whether you realize it or not, you are a good man Rick and a fantastic father. Don't ever doubt that." She concluded, sealing her words with a tender kiss.

With his free hand he collected some of her hair that had fallen and was tickling his face and placed it back behind her ear.

"Thank you" he simply said sincerely.

He observed her for a moment, his loving eyes taking in the features of the face he could see so clearly now, despite the lack of light. As he basked in her unmistakable beauty, he grew thoughtful. More hair fell down and he picked it back up, caressing her cheek in the process.

"I just wish she had a woman in her life, someone she could talk to about... women stuff."

Kate smiled at his brilliant mastery of the English language before responding.

"Alexis is surrounded by women. She's got her grand-mother, her mother, even if she isn't always there, I still suppose she has some kind of involvement in her life. She's got... had... has...Gina" Beckett stumbled and hesitated, her tone clearly questioning the status of this particular relationship.

"Had" rectified Castle.

"And... she's got..."

Kate took a breath, not really sure it was appropriate to say what she was about to say.

"...me. If she wanted to" she quickly added "I mean... you know. She's asked before and... I'm not pretending I'm part of her life just... if she needed... someone..." she stammered

"You _are_ a part of her life" interrupted Castle "of _our_ life. And I... _We_ would love it if you were even more a part of our lives. You know... If you wanted to."

They both looked at each other, realizing the impact of the words they were sharing and also realizing how ridiculous they were being, both stammering like idiots. They smiled at the same time and Kate lowered her lips down to meet his. They exchanged a few loving kisses.

"I would like that" stated Kate, looking intently into his eyes, conveying the hidden message that, yes, she wanted to be a part of their life, in the long-run and for real.

He took advantage of his hand in her hair to lower her back down to him and captured her lips once more. Their kiss grew deeper as their lips and tongues moved together, hungrier, more passionate, more needy.

Castle's hand in the small of her back started moving again, drawing random patterns, sometimes applying small pressures that earned him a series of muffled moans.

Her own hands responded to his touch by perusing the body underneath hers.

Soon enough her hands found their way under his shirt and his found their way up her back, lifting her shirt in the process.

Their touches grew more and more heated as their mouths devoured the other with an unmistakable desire. Their bodies started moving together, hips grinding against one another. The heat emanating from their combined bodies could have warmed them on the coldest of nights. But this was no cold night, in fact it was a rather warm one and soon, a thin sheen of perspiration appeared on their bodies. The heat did nothing to attenuate their lust for one another. Only good sense and a good amount of will power could have stopped them. And fortunately – or unfortunately, depending on the perspective – good sense and willpower were two things Kate Beckett didn't lack of.

She broke away from his face, breathing heavily as she tried to calm her heart rate and distancing herself from his tantalizing mouth.

"We...should..." her index finger trailed along his jaw and he captured it into his mouth "... stop" she moaned.

His tongue swirled around the captured finger and she pressed her body against his despite her best intentions of putting an end to this.

"Castle..." she warned, gathering up as much willpower as she could muster

"Hmm" he replied, his attention still on the long and delicate finger in his mouth.

"I'm serious" she breathed " we really should..." she swallowed hard and closed her eyes against the obvious pleasure she was taking in all this "...leave this beach."

When he didn't move she reluctantly reclaimed her finger, although she let it slide down his neck and onto his chest, as she fought her own desire.

"I mean it. We are not doing... _it_" she said looking around as if checking nobody would hear her "on the beach"

He pouted and placed his hands on her hips as she sat back on her heels.

"_Not_. No way. Trust me... it's not a good idea."

At that, the writer's curiosity perked up and she anticipated his question.

"No, you will not hear _that_ story."

She lifted herself up from him and immediately missed his body. As did he.

"Not tonight anyway" she added with a wink extending a hand to help him up.

When Castle was back on his feet he captured her into his arms and stole a sound kiss from her.

"You realize this is pure torture right?"

"But I promise I'll make it worth your while" she replied, stealing a kiss from him this time.

His eyes grew wider. That kind of promise was definitely not helping him.

She freed herself from his arms and started walking away.

"Oh and Castle? Since you _cheated_, you get to go back and grab our jackets" she informed him with a loving grin.

He groaned in protest but obliged. He did kind of cheat.

A few minutes later Beckett was sitting back on her bike and Castle took his place behind her, wrapping his arms without an ounce of hesitation tightly around her body.

He placed a kiss on her collarbone before she zipped her jacket all the way to the top.

"Thank you" he whispered into his ear "for taking me here with you tonight. It means a lot that you did."

He placed another sweet kiss on her ear before adding in a much sultrier voice.

"Now get us back to your home before I ravage you right here on that bike"

Kate shivered at his words, clutching her handle a little tighter as she discovered a whole new side of her favourite writer. Castle really was a multi-faceted man. And she loved it.

She turned her head around.

"Be good" she commanded with a smile before putting her helmet on.

"Always" he replied with the look of perfect innocence on his face before putting his own helmet on.

Beckett backed the bike and turned it around before hitting the gas and driving away from the beach and back into the city.

On this bike, on this dark road, the whole world faded away. They were alone, just the two of them, together.

Castle had found his muse, his inspiration, his love and as he held tight to her body so he wouldn't fall off the bike, he also promised himself he would hold on to her for the rest of his life, if she'd let him.

Beckett had found her saviour, her rock, her one and done. She felt the comfort of his arms around her body and promised herself she would spend the rest of her life safely tucked in them, if he'd let her.

They'd left Manhattan as work partners and friends, they returned as life partners and soon-to-be lovers.

**THE END**


End file.
